AI Therapy?
Your child just told you, “I don’t need therapy and can use ChatGPT if I need advice.” What are your reactions? Fear? Joy? Concern? Excitement? Your child is still waiting for your response. Here’s a guide to a conversation with your child about AI.
Child: I don’t need counseling, I can use ChatGPT. All my friends are using it, and it saves you money!
Parent: It is interesting technology and I’m sure your friends have your best interests in mind. Can we talk some more about this, I’d like to share some thoughts with you if I may?
Child: The other thing about AI is that it’s anonymous and you don’t have to talk to some random stranger.
Parent: I get that you want it to be secure, as therapy should be. But what you type in there WILL be used and saved whether you like it or not.
Child: I can always talk with my friends online, they are all the help I need.
Parent: Sure. But are they always available? Can they get you the help you need?
Child: I don’t have time to go to counseling.
Parent: Life is a series of balances. What’s taking up too much of your time? How can I help?
Child: I like to find the answers on my own.
Parent: Always a fan of that! But I know the therapist has almost a decade of training backing them up. And unless you know how to properly vet sources, I’m not sure if random people online (or a chat bot) have them.
As with most conversations with teenagers, it’s hard not to get into a power struggle with them. There is no easy way to convince someone (a child or adult) that therapy could be beneficial to them. AI becomes another barrier to therapy, along with all the other complications life throws at you. As such, here are some initial thoughts on my concerns of AI as a licensed mental health professional.
There’s a reason why we call therapy and the process ‘the work’. It’s intensive, takes time, and it’s hard to see for ourselves if we are making progress. And so, it makes sense that instead of window-shopping for therapists, seeing who takes insurance, figuring out logistics and unburdening yourself to a random person, one could boot up ChatGPT or some other AI-bot and talk to “it”. It would even work well – those systems are built on consuming information and regurgitating it in a way that it thinks YOU (or your child) want to hear. And yet, it misses a crucial part – the human part.
AI websites completely ignore HIPAA compliance and safety – I’ll cover that first before getting into the meat of it. You don’t know that what you type into that chat is kept confidential; more often than not, it’s being incorporated into the larger language model. It’s not insured, or supervised, or qualified by a professional licensing board. It’s just saying what it thinks you want to hear, which is a critical part in why, if you want a therapist for your child, a human is your best bet.
A great therapist will tell your child what they NEED to hear. A professional who can see their facial expressions and body language, (maybe someday the technology may get to that point) and only humans are capable of relating using mirror neurons and intersubjective experience (the “vibes”). A human therapist will be able to safely reach out to you and your child’s support network and coordinate care with other professionals and do this confidentially. An experienced therapist will call them out when they need to hear it, hype them up when they need it, and will sit with them when they have that incredible aha, light-bulb-turning-on moment. And they’ll help YOU help YOUR child understand their brains so you can have a kinder, more communicative time at home.
A kind therapist will point out how your child (and you – the parent) is improving in an honest way, not just in a way you think you need to hear it. They’ll show genuine compassion, and also won’t sell your personal information to a mega-corporation. A well-connected therapist will find support groups for parents like you, and for your kids to find other individuals like them.
If a therapist makes a mistake, they will apologize and mean it.
AI can’t hold your hand or walk with you if you need to just be with someone and not talk.
AI will not call in your family and friends if you need them to listen to you.
Only humans can really “see” you as an embodied brain, as an individual who exists in a physical space who is trying their best.
A therapist reserves a space and time that is held just for your child – and while sometimes we don’t just want someone to listen to us but to really feel what we are feeling, only humans (and sometimes a dog or cat or even a small lizard) can do that.
Note: This blog was composed entirely by a human, and reflects the individual’s personal thoughts and feelings. They do not reflect or endorse the position of the overall practice.
Aaron Sterling, LCSW (VA), LICSW (MD) Psychotherapist at Cabush, Paul, and Associates, LLC.
